Dreams That Once Were

Today was one of those off/weird/"reflecting days." You know-those days where you eat chocolate cake and a full carton of blueberries out of pure boredom. Or you find yourself you-tubbing how to cook butternut squash because never in your life have you ever prepared it and today of all days seems to be the day to figure that out! But, really, it was because you saw the butternut squash from across the room and knew that if you didn't do anything with it today it would end up in the garbage tomorrow so if there is anytime to deal with it, it's NOW. Or better yet, when you attempt the laundry that's been sitting there for as long as you can remember and you have been "aesthetically living" (is that even a thing?) through 5 pieces of clothing for a week straight. No? Ok, then taking a nap because it sounded like a good idea and then five minutes into it your thoughts grow more distracting so you organize your entire closet and drawers in your bedroom because that's always a blast for someone who doesn't have an ounce of A-type personality flowing through their veins. You get the point of how ridiculous this day has been. At least I finished watching the movie I started, like 4 days ago. Psshhh, not embarrassed at all. I'm just stating the obvious for all you butternut squash you-tubbing, blueberry eating, chocolate cake devouring, procrastinators out there in the world. 

...Which brings me to now: Blogging away at my not so exciting, distracting day. For those who know me know that I love to blog, and usually it's when something big is happening. I haven't blogged in a super long time. Although, I wish I had a better excuse other than "life has been busy." However, what I do know is that something is being stirred up in and around me. I love that I get to witness what the Lord is wanting and desiring for my church, surrounding churches, and this region. This community challenges me. You can feel the movement of the Holy spirit, like a tidal wave on the verge of breaking.  I love that when He moves like this, there is a ripple effect that occurs and you can't help but respond. What I've been feeling for quite some time it seems is that uncomfortable feeling for fear of missing out. 

There are many days like today where I find myself at a loss for words. When you don't even know what to pray for even. Half of the time I don't know what Ashley is thinking, so what in the world do I say when I am all jumbled in my mind? It's times like these that I bust out my "Prayers That Avail Much" book that my aunt gifted me (by the way if you DO NOT OWN this book, you need to get off yo' butt, get all up on Amazon and get-chu some Avail Much!). It's that crucial that my hood-latina side came out swaggin my neck using my pointer finger like, shoooooooot. 

No, but in all seriousness, I couldn't shake it off today. Then the Lord reminded me of who I am in Christ and how he wants for me to simply come to Him as I am-mumble jumbled and all. He so gently unveiled my eyes to the desires of my heart that at one point were so real and so tangible in my life that were left untouched for so long that sadly had become an idea I once thought. I found myself crying out for "dreams that once were." 

Today I rejoice in a Father who has not forgotten about those longings, and ever more Who has kept those dreams alive and on fire every single day even when they became dim in my horizon. I rejoice in a God who speaks life to dead things and revives the soul. I choose to stand on the promise that "I am good ground, that I will continue to hear His word and understand it, and that the Word bears fruit in my life-sometimes hundredfold, sometimes sixty, sometimes thirty. I am a tree planted by the rivers of water that brings forth fruit in it's season. My leaf shall not wither, and whatever I do shall prosper." (Psalm 1) My prayer is that we would be a people who will not forget the things the Lord has placed on our hearts. That boldness and faith would arise and that we would be ready to respond to what God has engraved on our souls. I'm glad that He, Who began a good work in me will bring it to completion. (Phillipians 1:6) 

Grace and peace!